Taking your tots on tour

Charlotte Gardner
Monday, November 27, 2023

Having a baby shouldn’t mean your touring career grinds to a halt. Charlotte Gardner talks to the performing parents who bring their child along for the ride

Jet-setter: Tom Poster and Elena Urioste’s son Tico has taken almost 40 flights
Jet-setter: Tom Poster and Elena Urioste’s son Tico has taken almost 40 flights

Courtesy of Tom Poster And Elena Urioste

If you’re combining a performing career with being a parent, there’s the question of whether to bring your child on tour with you. For those who can and want to – and many musicians logistically and financially can’t make it work – there’s a lot to be said for starting young, as discovered by pianist Tom Poster and violinist Elena Urioste. They decided when their son Tico was born to continue touring, but always as a family. ‘It’s such a personal choice,’ caveats Urioste, ‘but for us, by starting so early, he did get used to different beds and dressing rooms pretty quickly. We’ve also been fortunate in that we co-slept for the first year and never needed a cot. We told presenters to give us the biggest bed they had, and he knew, no matter where we were, he would be between his parents.’

‘Check the accommodation,’ advises violinist, vocalist, concert producer and Classical Kicks founder Lizzie Ball, who has so far toured once with her own 18-month old. ‘Is it ground floor, is there a lift, will you be provided with a cot? Ask all the questions. I think people are so scared of losing work, but there’s a way of doing it that’s professional. I’ve found that each booker has their own approach, so it’s important to know your own level of comfort and communicate this clearly to them.’

As for what to pack, ‘For the first few months you cannot bring enough outfits and muslins,’ cautions Urioste. ‘Then with toys, I’m all about portability: stacking cups, stickers that peel off, paperback books (once he was no longer eating the pages), a ball, balloons.’ Urioste also travels with a wrist brace, it being so easy to pull something when juggling multiple bulky things. Everyone I interviewed describes as ‘gamechanging’ the Babyzen YOYO, the only pram that folds up to cabin-baggage dimensions.

Also weigh up bulk and baggage allowance with what can be sourced at your destination. ‘I ordered my baby formula from a pharmacy in Spain, and they had it waiting for me,’ says Ball. If you’re getting off the plane into a car, remember that each country has its own car seat rules which can be checked in advance.

If booking local childcare is unavoidable, firstly work your contacts. European presenters often have a list of babysitters, so ask. Poster adds, ‘It’s also very rare, if you put out a message on Facebook, that some other musician hasn’t been in that city in a similar situation. So Tico has had evenings with lovely people when we’ve both been onstage, although sometimes things have fallen into place later than one would wish because we haven’t been given a schedule ahead of time.’ That’s something to push presenters for. One further albeit higher-risk strategy is to download a local babysitter app. Then, if you’re planning to have your child minded in your dressing room, check it’s definitely not within earshot of the stage. Dressing rooms also really come into their own with older children. Mezzo-soprano Jennifer Johnston first took her daughter on tour when she was ten. ‘While there was no way I would have trusted her to sit in the auditorium, she was okay at that stage to sit in my dressing room for the concert itself,’ says Johnston. ‘We also took time out and made it a holiday, and that trip was life-changing for her.’

Essentially, if you plan well, and are clear and firm about your needs, touring with your child can be enriching for you both.

Tips for First-Timers

• Have an early conversation with the presenter stating clearly your needs when it comes to travel, accommodation, rehearsal schedule and backstage facilities • Pack light on toys but don’t stint on baby clothes. Keep a checklist on your phone • For trips, think slings and the YOYO Babyzen pram. Look at what can be sourced locally • Use your networks to source personal recommendations for reliable local childcare • Think beyond the concert, include something for everyone: museums, soft plays etc • Be realistic about your repertoire and boundaries: you can’t stay up late for extra practice, and if a last-minute rehearsal leaves you paying a babysitter, you need to be paid for it too